Its all about your friend's Shoe not yours !


Lets say you go into a shoe store to buy a new pair of shoes. The sales clerk says,"What kind of shoes are you looking for? "
"Well I am looking for something that..."
"I think I know what you'd like", he interrupts ."Everyone is wearing these. Trust me."
He rushes off and comes back with the ugliest pair of shoes you have ever seen ."Just take a look at these babies", he says.
"But I really don't like them".
"Everyone likes them. They are the hottest thing going right now".
"I am looking for something different."
"I promise you. You will love them".
"but I..."
"Listen. I've been selling shoes for ten years and I know a good shoe when I see it".
After this experience, would you ever want to go to that store again? Definitely not. You can't trust people who give you solutions before they understand what your needs are. But did you know that we often do the same thing when we communicate?
"Hey Shikha , how's it going? You look really depressed. Is something the matter?"
"You wouldn't understand, Kairav. You'd think it was stupid."
"No I wouldn't. Tell me what's going on. I'm all ears."
"Oh, I don't know."
"C'mon. You can tell me."
"Well, okay ... uuhm ... things just aren't the same between Aarav and me anymore."
"I told you not to get involved with him. I just knew this would happen."
"Aarav's not the problem."
"Listen, Shikha, if I were you, I'd forget about him and move on."
"But, Kairav, that's not how I feel."
"Believe me. I know how you feel. I went through the same thing last year. Don't you remember? It practically ruined my entire year."
"Just forget it, Kairav."
"Shikha, I'm only trying to help. I really want to understand. Now, go on. Tell me how you feel."

It's our tendency to want to swoop out of the sky like Superman and solve everyone's problems before we even understand what the problem is. We simply don't listen. As the American Indian proverb goes," Listen, or thy tongue will make thee deaf."

The key to communication and having power and influence with people can be summed up in one stood. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. In other words, listen first , talk second. If you can learn this simple habit to see things from another's point of view before sharing your own , a whole new world of understanding will be opened up to you.

Dedicated to,
Everyone who loves to talk and that puts me in top spot :P,
PS : "Before I can walk in another's shoes, I must first remove my own."
Thank You for reading,
From,
Hetansh Shah a.k.a Hetu :]  

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