I can see thestrals now ...

"Mom ... he is having convulsions. Look at his eyes. They are wide open!! "

Dad quickly comes in the living room near his couch and we both help him lie down. It usually takes few minutes for him to get normal. But this time, his eyes weren't growing back to his normal size. Dad asks mom to check his blood pressure. Mom quickly takes out her stethoscope and sphygmomanometer and checks his blood pressure. "It's just 40", she whispers to dad and fai (dad's sister). Okay this looks bad. It has never been this low. He was admitted to hospital a month ago due to low haemoglobin. I quickly run to kitchen and make some ORS. By the time I  come back his eyes are back to normal. Sigh. He must be fine now.

I pour a spoonful of ORS in his mouth but he doesn't respond. I know his responses have slowed down since last 15 days. His cancer is spreading and he hasn't been able to speak much but no response is really bad. Mom again checks his blood pressure and this time she can't find his pulse. Suddenly my senses go on overdrive. Okay this shit is serious. Fai presses her ear against dada's chest. She looks wide eyes towards dad and says," I can't hear his heartbeat". I snatch mom's stethoscope and try to hear his heartbeat. But I can't hear anything. Dad presses two fingers near his neck and says ,"I feel his carotid artery". Everyone visibly relaxes a little bit.

Dad calls our family doctor and tells him to come right away but he is in some function and unavailable. We don't know what to do next. My fai now presses her fingers on dada's neck but she can't feel his carotid artery. Dad checks again and this time he too can't find any. Mom quickly goes inside to call her boss, Dr. Gangal. We 3 look at each other. Dad looks at us and says," If this is it. It's good. He went away peacefully. He didn't suffer much." My eyes are moist and fai starts sobbing. I am not selfish, I know Dada has suffered a lot over the years. He had prostate cancer since a year and he had lost his eyesight since last 10 years. How much ever you are prepared, it's never easy to actually face it.

Doctor said he would reach out place in 15 minutes. Those 15 minutes were quite long. I looked at my phone and there was a notification that India lost match despite Kohli scoring 149 & 51. Dada would have cursed the Indian team for sure.

"Dada Kohli scored another 200. This one is his 6th double hundred and 3rd this year."

- "Hain !! Again ?? My God what a player. How did everyone else play?"

"They were okayish"

Nurse comes by to check his BP. She says,"Uncle is in ICU and he keeps calling your name and here you are talking about cricket?" My Dada responds ," He is my eyes and ears and commentator. We both watch every single cricket match together."

Doctor comes in and everyone suddenly becomes alert. He checks Dada for 3 minutes. Longest 3 minutes of my life. Above 15 minutes were nothing in comparison to this. Nobody speaks. Don't want the doctor to miss his heartbeat. After 3 minutes he removed his stethoscope and looks at mom and says," He is no more." Tears start pouring down mom's and fai's cheeks. Even my dadi realises something is wrong (She can't hear and has Dementia). Me and dad just have stone face. Dad goes inside to make some calls and inform dada's brothers and  I help doctor remove his catheter.

Few relatives come by quickly in few minutes. Me and dad dress Dada in his favourite white kurta (I don't know why this one was his favourite, after all , he only wore white kurtas). Someone says from behind to place his body on the floor and sprinkle some Gangajal on his body.

I am 13 years old. Aware of my growing strength. I creep from behind and with all my might lift Dada few inches above ground. He starts laughing and my dadi is shouting from behind to keep him down. He says while laughing ," Keep me down. If we fall, we both will be in hospital and in trouble. There will come a time when you will have to lift me."

He is almost half is weight from that time and I too have gained few pounds. I couldn't lift him at all. It took 3 of us to lift and place him down on the floor. I stare at him and feel a lump in my throat. He said to me some 20 days ago, " Hetu, I am have lived my life. I don't have any regrets or any wishes left. I don't mind dying." He looked so thin and weak. People start pouring. All my cousins are first to arrive. They stood by me and helped in everything going around. Bringing chair and water and what not. I was numb.

PS: The only picture in which he has a beard (was forced to keep beard :P)

Someone told me to get some sleep because we will have to stay awake tomorrow. Everyone was scared of sitting on dada's couch. I went there and tried to lie down. If dada's ghost truly lurked around this couch. It would never harm me. He loved me. It was 3 am and I couldn't get any sleep. I did get drowsy in between a little bit and saw thestrals in sky ....

Dedicated to,

My Dada,

Miss you very much,

May your soul rest in peace,

Thanks to everyone who came by and sent texts and prayed for his soul,

From,

Hetansh Shah a.k.a Hetu :]